6 Reasons Why You Should be a Unicorn Mom
by Ashley Olson
First, what is a unicorn mom? According to a Google search the definition is, “A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor, and couldn’t care less what you think.”
I came to this conclusion about a month ago, becoming a unicorn mom. My good friend passed away almost a year after my sister did from cancer. She actually is the one who embodied the term unicorn mom. She was always strong-willed, never backed down, was a beast when it came to her kids and friends, she did love her alcohol, she had a fantastic sense of humor, and she couldn’t care less what you thought of her. You either loved her or not, but she didn’t waste her time on you if you didn’t.
Now, I was almost the opposite. I tried to be perfect all the time, didn’t like alcohol, I do think I have a good sense of humor, and I did care what you thought of me.
I was always the perfectionist, people pleaser, and cared what people thought of me. After having my kids the pressure to be the best mom got to me. I always tried to be perfect. I compared my kids to my friends kids.
Wondered what I did wrong when my daughter didn’t walk until she was 13 months. Or when she screamed at people for saying hi.
One time we were at a grocery store and she must have been close to two at the time. A really nice elderly lady said to her hi and how beautiful she was. My daughter gave one look at her and just screamed and growled. I was mortified. Here I am trying to be the perfect mom and my daughter just embarrassed me.
I thought most kids would smile or shy away, but definitely not react like mine did. I thought am I doing something wrong? I must be.
I didn’t teach her that. Not like I would do that. Imagine I am paying for my groceries and when the clerk tells me how much, I just scream and growl.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back and scoop her up and think she is wonderful because she is. Tons more moments come to mind that I would go back and try not to lose sleep of trying to be the perfect mom.
#1 The Pinterest Mom was Stressing Me Out!
The Pinterest mom really comes to mind. I am always on Pinterest and look at healthy lunches and awesome projects. I would try so hard to make those lunches and do those project. I would get so stressed out that I wouldn’t enjoy what really mattered. My kids!
Now I know I am not perfect. I am the best mom I can be.
If I don’t let my kids use crayons and markers to do projects because they like to color on walls. So, what! Doesn’t make me less of a mom. Just makes me my kid’s mom.
#2 Ipads and Candy and Mr. Timerblake
I know what they can handle. I am not perfect. I have days where I shove my daughter outside and put the IPAD on for my son, so I can watch the Ellen DeGeneres show for an hour. (Confession: I do this everyday during the week.)
I shove a candy in my mouth and tell the kids they can’t have one because it will ruin their dinner.
I listen to my music in the car because well, frankly, I would rather listen to Justin Timberlake than the Wheels on the Bus. Plus, Hello! Justin Timberlake is my second husband. I need to support his career. Without me he would be singing in bars and that is not a good look for him.
#3 Unicorn Moms and Pirates #MoveOverJudgyMom
Next is enjoys alcohol. Never was into it even as a teenager or in my college days. My 21st birthday I went to the Moose Club with my family. (The Moose Club is for the elderly, retired veterans.) Watched them drink and came home.
I know LAME!
I just didn’t like the taste or see the need. I enjoyed my cup of tea and two cookies way better than a glass of beer or wine or anything with alcohol.
Fast forward to two kids one in first grade and the other in VPK and I am learning to like alcohol. I am not a wino or beer snob, but I do like a good mixed drink with rum. It makes me feel like a pirate. Not like, a swashbuckling pirate, but a clean, put together one.
It also helps those stressful, what am I doing nights. Where you told your child five hundred times to stop chewing their stuffed bunny. Or when your child pees in the corner of the bathroom because “he felt like it.”
For the nights when the husband is working late and the kids want daddy because mommy is mean. (I made them clean their room. How dare I!)
Now, as my friends know…I do still drink my cup of tea with two cookies every night. They can attest to that, as I bring my tea bag with me if I go out at night with them. BUT… a good drink with a splash of rum really does help sometimes.
#4 Laugh When It’s Appropriate, Not!
Next description in the definition is has a sense of humor. This one I had and have. I always laugh at myself and other people. This is the one character trait I really hope my children get of mine. I really feel it helps you get through life.
One day recently, my son was acting like a fool at an eye glass shop. When we got outside I started to yell at him and was going on and on. I got to what I thought was my van. ( In my defense, I think everyone owns a grey Toyota Sienna.) I was clicking my unlock button and would hear it beep. Tried several times to open the door as I was wrestling my 4 yr old.
Finally, looked inside and it wasn’t my van. My van was a few cars behind me. I just started laughing.
That is pretty much me everyday. Just have to laugh.
Laugh at your daughter for wearing weird looking clothes.
Laugh at your son who is having a big melt down because he can’t watch the episode of The Flying Pigs on Paw Patrol.
I laugh at pretty much everything (even things I probably shouldn’t because it is inappropriate.) I think laughing is the best medicine. (Even better than wine, but for me that is not saying a lot.)
#5 Just Be Your Kids Mom
The last one….Not caring what people think. This was the hardest one for me. I think by nature woman and some men care what people think of them.
I would care if my son was acting up and no one else was. Not because of what he was feeling or why he was acting up. But because other people were looking at him and me. I thought are they looking at me thinking I should do more? Are they looking at me thinking my son is a twerp? Honestly, who cares? Do they know why he was acting up? Do they know I have tried everything and nothing gets through his thick head? No!
They are not him and not I. Just gives you more stress that turns into more wine. (Just Kidding. Well, for me it wouldn’t turn into wine, but who is judging.)
#6 Join the Magic Unicorn Moms
Now, I am a unicorn mom and proud of it! I feel I am living my dear friends legacy. I feel close to her and know she would be proud I am joining her. I wonder what a herd of unicorn moms are called? A magic herd? A uni-herd? A freaking, awesome herd? I know I can’t be the only one out there, so come join my herd.
Let’s live life as a unicorn mom because life is on borrowed time. Make it count.
I am a mom, wife, daughter, and sister. I love Disney and Justin Timberlake. I drink a cup of tea with two cookies every night.