DO YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF AS A MOM?
Of course, you do, or at least you think you do. However, you may not realize that the level of care you give yourself is far sub-optimal, in many cases even being regarded as neglect. Yes, circumstances may force you to spend less time on yourself than you would like, and there are usually dozens of reasons why.
As moms, we wear many hats. Can we all agree to that?
Well, in our quest to make sure bills are paid, laundry is done, toys are picked up, dinner is prepared, children are changed, the house is cleaned, errands are run and so many other things on our to-do list; we forget about ourselves.
Many of you are either stay-at-home moms or moms working in Corporate America and still not taking time to for some self-care which is the ultimate self-love. Take this time to ask yourself this: “What or who is stopping me?”
So, what was your response?
For me it was ME! Yes, me stopping me from taking time for myself. Time to decompress, breath, remember who I am as a woman. Taking time to love me.
You see I was once that corporate mom who used the excuse of being too tired to take time for self-care. Now, being a work-at-home mom for the past 3 years I was finding it even harder to care for myself the way I knew I needed.
That led to me recognizing the need for therapy. Why? Yes, you guessed it, I became depressed, feeling out of sorts, worthless as a mom and wife and needed to seek mental health support.
There were things I knew I needed to manage and overcome the feeling of depression like most moms who suffer from PPD/PPA (Postpartum Depression/Anxiety). Such as, meditation, realizing the areas I was lacking in, not feeling guilty for taking time for myself. How the lack of self-care led to depression which led to lack of sleep. Yet, I knew I didn’t need or want to take pills for this thing that was going in inside of me. That thing I just couldn’t understand.
Today I make it a point and a must to pencil in self-care each week for myself. Each week I take 4 – 6 hours for me.
Expectations for moms since the beginning of time were to manage the entire household, children, our husbands, tend to other children possibly, as well as the many hats we wear daily.
Moms have been constantly pulled in a million different directions, finding themselves far too busy to get done what they need to get done, let alone worrying about self-care.
The busier moms find themselves taking care of themselves less and less as they get busier taking care of their families. It’s natural to put your kids first, but you can’t neglect yourself completely; you’re important too.
So, before you can make a conscious effort to improve the level of care you give to yourself, you need to realize the areas you are deficient in. Self-care may be eluding you if you find yourself doing any of the following things.
You Are Selfless
If you find yourself putting the needs of every single person ahead of your own, you are exhibiting a classic sign of self-neglect. By prioritizing the needs of everybody except your own, you find yourself being burnt out or resenting doing things altogether.
Though nobody likes a selfish person, let’s be realistic- you have to put yourself first sometimes. You may end up unable to do anything for anyone if you continue at this rate, not to mention resenting all the people you give up things for. A totally unhealthy cocktail.
Your Appearance Is Sub-par
If you feel guilty for fancying up yourself, again, self-care may be eluding you. You have the right to spend time on yourself, if that means indulging in a bubble bath for an hour, or moisturizing and doing weekly pedicures, it is a necessary part of your overall care.
Another typical symptom of this is the chronic habit of dressing in “wash and wears,” which makes your appearance as cheaply dressed and not classy. Take some time every weekend to arrange your outfits for the coming week. This involves picking out accessories, shoes, and steam ironing your clothes if needed. You are special- dress for the part.
You Don’t Have Friends
Not having a small circle of closely knit friends is another obvious symptom of poor self-care. Good friends are there not only through the good times but also the bad and can be an invaluable part of your well-being. Whether this is your choice (or excuse) or something forced upon you by family, it is not healthy and ultimately affects your wellbeing.
You Feel Unfulfilled
You may be grown, have a home and money in the bank, but still have the sinking feeling that you have achieved nothing or not enough in life. This could be the result of personal un-fulfillment because perhaps you never got the chance to complete your college education, to pursue a passion or maybe you simply do not find your career or life as a mom or wife to be rewarding.
Well, guess what- there is no better time than now to get up and go after whatever it is that would fulfill you. What needs to be kept in mind is the fact that no other person can achieve this for you but YOU, so go get it.
You Don’t Exercise
This is one of the more serious symptoms of poor self-care, as it directly affects your well-being on an emotional and physical level. Lack of exercise boosts the likelihood of negative health effects developing, reduces the quality of life, and harms your appearance.
Exercise performed just 3 times weekly can help you maintain a healthy body weight and body composition, and is one of the best things you can give yourself.
You Feel Life Is A Chore
The final symptom, that sums up the disdain you have for yourself is your lack of joy. Living brings you no real pleasure; you’re just going through the motions of life, without truly finding joy in the day-to-day moments.
You don’t stop to take in the views on your way to work or while the kids are playing, you don’t experience joy from little things your kids or grandkids may do, and only look forward to going to bed. Feeling as if life has no real purpose for you can be not only sad, but kick starts a cycle of negativity and can spiral into depression.
What you need to do for self care as a mom
Though self-care should be second nature, many of us have de-trained these instinctual behaviors and replaced them with “politically correct” habits and a robotic pursuit of daily living.
Never feel guilty for employing self-care. You need to be selfish sometimes and to think about yourself, so you can meet your needs and desires, it can only serve to make you happier and more content. Remember, it won’t hurt to leave the vacuuming, laundry, and dishes for the next day.
As a mom, you probably struggle to find time to yourself. You put your kids before yourself, which is commendable, but it leaves a void in your self-care routine, resulting in your neglecting yourself.
You are important, and your needs deserve to be valued. You can easily improve your mental and physical health by integrating these simple self-care tips.
Master Coach, Consultant & Blogger, Author, Speaker, #CEOMomma & Trainer, Tamara C. Gooch, is the Founder and CEO of Pink Pearl, LLC a transformational movement that magnifies individuals voices and triumphant stories of boldness, confidence & truth, along with The Savvy Entrepreneurs Incubator group; a think-tank, next-level innovative learning platform that helps modern-day women & moms maximize and monetize their messages and find their voice; in order to live a life of freedom, on purpose. While coaching passion-driven individuals in areas of, Business, Christian life (Destiny, Purpose, Self-Discovery, Self-Care, and Relationships), Financial, and above all motherhood.
So, as my gift to you, I want to offer you this resource: “31 Self-Care Hacks for Busy Moms”
Hop on this page and make sure you grab this fabulous resource to show you ways to treat yourself to some much-needed self-care. Pure LOVE, moms!
Founder & CEO of Pink Pearl, LLC