Say yes, to you!
What does saying yes to yourself mean, and why is it important? When you say yes to you it will be life-changing, and here’s why.
Saying no to my family was unheard of for me. I did any and everything for them without a second thought, without thinking of how it would affect me as an individual. The day we found out we were pregnant with our first baby was the day I stopped thinking of myself as an individual. My family became my number one priority.
Since having kids, I would look at my husband taking “me time” and think wow! He’s so selfish! How could he take a break when there’s so much to be done?
But really, he got it right.
By taking time for himself, to take care of his mind and body, he was able to give us the best version of himself. The time he shared and spent with us was quality – compared to those times when he didn’t take that time and overextended himself. Since I started prioritizing myself, I’m able to give more selflessly and lovingly to my family.
Why Prioritize Yourself?
I saw the benefits of prioritizing myself first-hand and still, I felt guilty to say no or to take time for myself. I always told myself that I was strong – my motto was “Be stronger than your strongest excuse” (a perfect example of an awesome quote misused). But, the fact is I wasn’t being strong. I wasn’t practicing self-love and this adversely affected how I cared for my family.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup” – I still remember the day I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and my sister sent that quote to me. It resonated so deeply with me. I saved it to my phone’s wallpaper and to my desktop. I was determined to make it my mantra. But I had never been able to live it. As a person and more so as a mom, I give everything I have to those I love.
But, when I’m depleted, how could I keep giving, and more importantly, what would I have to give? I give something, that’s for sure. But do my loved ones really get the quality that they deserve from me? When I’m depleted I’m present but I’m only doing what I can do in that state.
If I know all of this, then why is it so hard for me?
I know when I need some time – my body and my mind scream at me. But then my baby only wants mama, or I see how tired my husband is after work and I can’t bring myself to say, no, I need a break (or I may say it and continue going).
It’s not that I think I’m the best in every situation with my family – it’s that I see their emotions or their tiredness and something in me musters up even more strength. I want to help and I want to see them happy, even to my detriment. I kept thinking of how selfish I was to think of putting my needs ahead of anything or anyone in my family.
So what do I do? Do I continue along this path until I drop? How is that helpful?
What Happens When You Say Yes To You
What I’ve come to understand is that saying no to their every wish isn’t selfish of me. Since I’ve been prioritizing myself, life is better!
I feel less stressed and tired and so does my family. The quality that I give to them is better! My mood and state of mind are happy and peaceful – I give purely because I want to and because I can and not just because I should.
I now happily embrace my responsibilities and I know my limits and boundaries. If I’m feeling like I’m doing just because I have to then I need to take a step back. I need to reassess my state of mind and find the joy in what I’m doing or find an alternative.
Prioritizing yourself is the difference between just going through the motions and being very present with your loved ones and your life.
I’m not being selfish by putting myself first, I was being selfish by trying to be everything to everyone but myself. Nobody got the best of me.
How to Say Yes to You
Intentionally practicing self-love and self-care has positively impacted every area of my life. Once I embarked on the journey of prioritizing myself, I felt the benefits on my mind, body, and soul.
I learned self-love and have started practicing it daily. The most important aspect of loving myself more was understanding and embracing my worth and my boundaries. For the first time in my life, I felt confident in my skin. I felt that I had no point to prove to anyone but myself. Comparing myself to others is now a thing of the past and it’s so freeing. My journey feels more meaningful, I’m proud of my accomplishments and I’m excited about what’s to come.
Self-care is an ongoing process for me. My needs change from day-to-day. One day all I need is a hot shower and another day I just need to sleep in.
I have researched quite a bit and lots of suggestions really didn’t interest me. I’m not a ‘girly-girl’ and I don’t want to go to the spa. I never liked it and just because I could do with a pedicure from time to time doesn’t mean I’d enjoy it. But suggestions like these were everywhere.
So I had to think about what made me feel rejuvenated before I had kids or when I had one kid. I made a list, checked it twice, and started doing those. Still, nope! Those things didn’t work.
I was trying to do the right things for someone I used to be.
I’ve evolved. What once was important to me isn’t anymore. So I had to try many things to figure out what made my soul happy and my body feels rejuvenated now.
THE most important way to say yes to you is to figure out and do something truly FOR YOU now, you the mom. And to know that it may not always be the same thing.
It could be anything! From spa days to sitting on your porch with a cup of your fave drink and just enjoying the view. It could be one on one time with your husband or your best friend. Or, a long drive by yourself. It could be a beach day, WITH the family.
The main take away is that you need to do what’s right for you so you and your loved ones get the best. Find what makes your mind, body, and soul soar and prioritize it.
Say Yes to you and you will never regret it. Your life will drastically improve along with all of your important relationships. When you intentionally practice self-awareness, you are equipped to attend to your needs and create a self-care routine that will surely rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul. The happiness and peace within yourself will be second to none. It may seem selfish at first but when you’re in such a good place with yourself, you give selflessly and loving to those who need you.
How do you say yes to you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below or at curlybunmom.com