Here are some ways to avoid selfish parenting.
Momma Life in the beginning was not what I expected it to be. When I first became a mom, I was quite young but nonetheless I took my role as a new momma very seriously.
After I gave birth, I soon experienced post partum depression. I cried a lot and thought my life was crumbling down a very steep hill. I did not quite understand what was going on. I knew I was a new mommy and did not have a clue why I was feeling sad.
Moms out there, have you ever experience post partum depression? At the same time, I looked at my newborn son and I wholeheartedly wanted the best for him. I learned the true meaning of: parenting is a selfless act of love. I pushed on. My son was my number one cheerleader, he just didn’t know it. At one month old, we had a special dance that I will always remember. I promised him I was going to be the best mom to him. He was the one who gave me encouragement to push on in life. While I prayed during this difficult time in my life, I found so much hope in God who carried me through.
It was a shocking transition into motherhood and soon I realized that no longer wasmy life just all about ME. Wow, what a concept! I was responsible for this tiny little human being…my firstborn son and that meant my whole world had just completely changed.
Embracing motherhood is being a selfless mother (mother quote!)
Your child is now the focus of your life and many decisions are surrounded around your little baby. A mom’s job is 24/7. We have to know where they are 24/7 around the clock. Sometimes, becoming a mom may mean we have to give up certain things in order to give the best of ourselves and to be present in our childs life. Selfless. Our motherhood journey may mean not finishing a degree, not pursuing a career or not saving for a special purchase you had in mind for years. Why? The focus is on other important things for your child. When I was younger, I was selected at an audition that led to my acceptance into a Beverly Hills acting agency. It was a prominent agency where I attended classes and auditioned for commercials and TV shows in Beverly Hills. Well, I never finished those classes because I became a mom and that was more important to me. I could not do both. How precious is the act of selfless love in motherhood? It is the very existence of our being to care and love our children. Motherhood is the highest calling because we get to teach our children everything! Our children only know what we allow them to know and see. Let me explain… Our children are always watching us in how: we act and treat them and talk to others. They learn through us and through our actions. What we say, do and act is being programmed into our children. Can you imagine that? How are you acting when you get mad or when someone mistreats to you? How do you show respect or honor to others? If we expose them to a culture of appreciation and respect then they will have a higher tendency to exhibit those traits outside the home.
No matter how old our children are, we will raise them up in our faith, culture and beliefs. I truly believe that our children will always need their mom. No matter how old they are they just need us in different ways, as they get older. We are the number one influencer who shapes their beliefs, actions, and personality.
Seasons of Motherhood come and go for a lifetime. It’s all about Selflessness.
Once you become a mom you are locked in for a lifetime. I don’t know if we are really ever fully ready. But we are brave and definitely not mimicking any selfish parenting. Motherhood is a beautiful season filled with laughter and pain and triumphs. Each phase of motherhood will encounter growth spurts such as:
The newborn phase, toddler, teenager, young adult, and adult phases (I’m skipping some phases). They will have different needs and desires. We may have difficulty with some of these growth stages.
For me, it was teaching my daughter to drive. I was so nervous but it was more about my own insecurities. It wasn’t about my daughter’s ability to drive, it was hard to let her grow up. I did not want to let her grow up or accept the fact she was maturing right before my eyes. Has anyone experienced this before?
In some seasons, our children need us a little more than other seasons. The beauty of motherhood is there is never a dull moment. Being close to our children and helping them along this journey called life defines who we are as mommas. What is our priority? Is it our children? Is it our job for those of us who work? Our jobs as mommy never stop. Being a mom is a precious and selfless gift of love we give to our children. Believe me when they are old enough they will realize it and one day they will thank you for your support and putting up with their shenanigans. Being a mom is such a huge responsibility and it is not to be taken lightly. We are responsible for these precious little beings. God created your children specifically for you. He expects you to teach them His ways and to love them. As a young mom or seasoned mom (as I was both at age 18 and 40) I know what it is like to be a mom at both ends of the age spectrum. I was once the youngest mom and now a more seasoned mom. I was sure I had everything figured out when I had my daughter in my 40s but I soon realized just how I was so wrong. Although, I had experience under my belt, the times had changed especially with technology and all the high tech baby products. I highly recommend visiting ThinkBaby for a wealth of information on amazing baby products. You will find valuable recommendations for moms in all seasons of motherhood. From pregnancy to mom life, all you need to think of for your baby is covered there! What an honor it is to be a mom and one that we should embrace with all of our heart. Parenting is a selfless act of love. We can be intentional on how we raise our children in this world. Teaching them to be a community helper, to serve others, have good manners, be responsible, have a teachable spirit, to love, to forgive, etc. No wonder we feel overwhelmed at times! There is so much to teach our children and we have to be disciplined to discipline them.
Mothers are Mama Bears too! We are our child’s advocate and protector.
We are the protectors of our children! Here's a secret!
When we are close to our children and when we are heavily involved in our children’s life, we will have a special bond that no one can break.
That special bond leads to trust.
Trust is one of the most important attributes a mom can have with her children.
Trust carries a strong open channel of communication.
Why is open communication so critical? One important reason is it helps provide safety from those who want to hurt children. You see when our children feel like they can tell you anything (even when they will be in trouble) then they will feel comfortable to tell you if someone hurt them. Please don't assume that your child will tell you. I was one of those children. I was abused my whole childhood and did not tell anyone. My Child Sexual Abuse story has a better explanation. There are bad people out there in this world. These conversations can start when our children are young; as young as three years old. I wrote in this post about how to talk to your child about body safety. We can talk to them about body safety to protect them against predators. Yes! You better believe it! Body safety can be explained that no one can touch their body parts where their clothes cover their body. Another thing to talk about is body safety in terms of physical abuse. They can learn to say “NO” and they can feel safe to tell mommy right away. Emphasize that no matter what, mommy will never be upset. We are their number one advocate. They depend on us. Be that selfless parent. What an honor it is to love our children with a purpose and a reason. We are our children’s number one teacher. There is no roadmap laid out for us to follow but we know what we need to do and we know how to fulfill our child’s needs. Motherhood is not easy nor is it always peachy. There are days I am so exhausted. There are days I have been to sleep with my feet throbbing to the point of no return. But we do it day in and day out; we wake up each morning to love on our children. They deserve it. Remember, parenting is a selfless act of love. You are the master teacher and master protector!
Christine is a teacher at heart. A children’s Bible teacher, stay at home-homeschooling mom! Christine has a passion for child advocacy. Also, she loves Jesus, loves the mountains, loves photography and loves here latte! Visit at www.ChristinetheJoyfulMom.com.