Should you have another baby? 9 questions to ask before having another baby.
Are you on the fence about having another baby? Are you in disagreement with your partner about having another baby? It is not an easy decision to make and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. I know it is really hard to be the one that wants a baby and your partner doesn’t. Patience is key when making the decision. I will provide you 9 questions to ask before having another baby to help you make your decision.
As you know, deciding to have a baby is never an easy decision to make. You have to be in agreement with your partner. There are many things to consider when trying to decide. I am going to provide you with 9 questions to ask before having another baby. Hopefully, reviewing these questions with your partner will help you decide.
How do I know if I really want another baby?
You will have a desire for another baby. You might start to get baby fever and have the desire to hold a baby again. Even if you don’t have a burning desire, you might feel like you want to give your current child or children another sibling. If you are older and feel like time is running out, you might feel like you need to do this earlier rather than later.
I still had the desire to have another baby after having two kids. It seemed like I always thought about having another baby. I would look at our family picture and feel like someone was missing. I just knew I wanted to at least have one more baby. It was consuming my mind thinking about having another baby.
Here is another article to read if you thinking about becoming a mom. This will help you decide if now is the time to start you your family.
What is the ideal spacing between siblings?
There are pros and cons to every age gap. I have experience with a two year age gap and over a 5 year age gap. I have found both age gaps great and it really doesn’t matter much.
Two year age gap
With a two year age gap, they share a common interest. You can take them to an activity and they enjoy it together. They also will play with similar friends. It is great to see them play together.
The challenge with a two year age gap is that you will have your hands full when they are little. It is very stressful when they are acting up together. They also can get into arguments and fight. You also might be more tired when they are closer together.
Five year or more age gap
With a 5 year or more age gap, you will feel more rested between kids. You really get to truly cherish each kid’s infancy. It really is sweet to see my older kids love on and help out with the baby. My older kids still bond greatly with the baby despite the age gap. The baby definitely gets a lot of attention.
The challenge with a larger age gap is that the older kids are less likely to share a common interest with the younger child when it comes to activities. They are less likely to share common friends. The older kids will see the youngest always as the baby and the younger child might feel left out. There is also an extension of the baby years if you see this as a con.
Here is another article to read if you are thinking about adding a sibling to your family. This will provide you with 7 ways to prepare an only child for a sibling.
How do you compromise to have another baby?
This is hard if you are the one wanting another baby and your partner doesn’t. Your heart wants what your heart wants. It really should be a team decision. Sometimes, it is best to think about the decision for a while if you are unsure. The partner not wanting another kid might come around in a year or two.
If you are the one desperately wanting another baby, it is such an emotional experience to be the one to compromise. I begged my husband periodically to have another child. I couldn’t look at pictures of my kids as babies. It would make me very emotional thinking about the baby stage being over. I prayed that my husband would change his mind.
How did my husband and I compromise?
It really bothered my husband to see me get upset about not getting to have another baby. He finally agreed to have another baby after five years of my second child being born. I was so happy that my husband finally agreed. There was going to be a little bit of an age gap between my children, but I didn’t care.
Trying for another baby was a journey in itself. It took 11 months to get pregnant. I thought something was wrong because we conceived so quickly with the other two kids. I went to the doctor a couple of times because of how long it was taking. She just told me that it can take longer when you are older.
A sweet little story about our baby
One year after trying to conceive, I found out I was pregnant. It happened after a prayer my daughter had with Jesus. She prayed, “Dear Jesus, please let me have a baby sister on my birthday.” It turned out that my due date was on her birthday.
My third baby was a baby girl born a day after my daughter’s birthday. Another thing special about my third baby is that she has red hair. My husband’s grandma predicted before she passed away that her daughter would have a red headed granddaughter. This is so special to us due to her arrival six years after my second child was born.
Now I am going to share with you 9 questions to ask before having another baby. These are questions that I reflected upon when I wanted another baby.
9 questions to ask before having another baby
- Question 1: Is your partner on board?
You and your partner should agree about having another baby. It is important to reevaluate every so often if you are both ready. Assess your current situation and discuss when might be the ideal time. When you come to a conclusion when the right time might be then you should make your decision based on it. Do a pros and cons list to help you decide.
- Question 2: Are you financially stable?
It is important to feel financially stable before having kids. Raising children is expensive. You will have daycare costs if you are both working. The everyday expenses of food, clothing, etc. all add up. Access your finances and create a budget to see what it would look like to have another kid.
- Question 3: Do you want another sibling for your child or children?
Would you like to have another sibling for your child or children? If this is a desire that you have as a couple, then go for it when you are ready. You won’t regret it. It truly is a gift to have a sibling or siblings.
- Question 4: How is your mental health?
Are you emotionally stable right now? If you are struggling with something emotionally, you might want to wait until your mental health improves. Your hormones during pregnancy and postpartum can make things worse. Get the counseling that you need to help you deal with any mental health issues that you are struggling with overcoming.
- Question 5: Can you handle the stress?
Do you think you can handle the stress of having another kid? It will add to your stress having another kid. Any time you have another kid there is an adjustment period. Everyone will have to adapt and there will be more work to do. After a while, you will get use to it and learn how to manage it all.
- Question 6: Are you at risk for health issues during pregnancy?
It can be dangerous for some individuals to carry a pregnancy. They might be at a very high risk of life-threatening complications. It is important to get evaluated by a doctor before trying to conceive if this is the case for you. Your doctor can make a plan for you if you are at high risk.
- Question 7: How is your relationship with your partner?
Do you feel like you have a strong stable relationship with your partner? If you do then this is a good indicator of having another baby. Not having a good relationship or being on the rocks would not be good situation to bring a baby into. If your relationship is struggling, it is important to work on your relationship first. Get whatever help you might need such as marriage counseling to help strengthen your relationship.
- Question 8: Will you regret not having another baby?
Will you look back and wish you had another baby? You have to think ahead a little. When you are in your 50s, will you wish that you had another baby. You don’t have forever to have another baby. Think about how many adult children you would like to have at your family gatherings.
- Question 9: Does your family feel complete?
Do you feel like someone is missing? Do you have the energy or resources to have another baby? If you feel like someone is missing or you have enough money for another child, then go for it. It might be what your family needs to feel complete.
Should you have another baby? 9 questions to ask before having another baby.
Are you ready to add a new person to your life? This can be a very hard decision to make as a couple. It is often not an overnight decision. There are many things to think about before coming to a conclusion. Hopefully, by providing you with 9 questions to ask before having another baby will help you make your decision.
My name is Shanna. I am a blogger and a full-time working mom of three children. It is my goal to inspire moms to find balance, build confidence, and achieve their personal goals. I would love to assist you with reaching your fitness goals. I also want to help moms with postpartum issues, parenting tips, and frugal living. Read more about me and my blog at The Busy Active Mom.